Sideways

...Losing Myself

thoughts, dangerous thoughts,
thoughts so vile that they stray away from the conventional thinking of MY mind
a place, which once only allowed thoughts that passed a certain standard
now i stumble as i see that a new regime has taken over this space
Occupied. now not mine, my mind hides in the dark confines
This is sad because I've never ever felt more unlike me.
more outside, behind, scarce more never there
its like I'm being operated, by someone with a cold empty stare
and my hands are moving, my smile still gleams,
but it lacks the reality of who I am.
and these sparks of mind silence, thoughts as they're called, are slowly but surely turning me into someone else,
and that's scary, because I liked who I was,
and now i cant find that person, so that person is at a loss,
what attracted people to me is now no more, so will i now lose friends as I've lost my personality?
hmmm makes you think right.
All i know is that I want to get back in my skin, figuratively
Cuz i'm not there right now.


"Sideways" - Citizen Cope

Moments of Serenity

I used to always always come out to the ramp and watch the planes land when i didn't have any work to do...so today I thought I'd return to that tradition, and watch my British airways flight come in with the sunset, but by the time i got outside it had already landed. no biggie. i got to watch American airlines from Miami come in, and i got to watch that beautiful Bermuda sun disappear underneath the horizon... it was actually kinda nice, that was my lil moment of tranquillity for the day, along with some unexpected but good conversation from an old friend..its always nice to have a good chat. Anywayzzz, today was good, i think my thought for today would have to be courage. Yep courage.

sometimes it takes that full heart of a little sumthing extra to step out and do what you didn't think you could do, or was nervous to do. Courage is that action that's taken when you ignore the butterflies in your stomach.
I was inspired. Words from a friend, who also had to have a certain amount of courage, inspired me, to pray, close my eyes and just step out and do what i gotta do.

the afterfeeling, after courage is a good one too. its contentment.

I have to thank God for every moment today, for the Word, for the speakers, for the praise team (maaaaaannnn the praise team kills it!!), for the sunset, and for my friends. as always



p.s. the pic is fuzzy, cuz i took it wif the blackberry.

Streets on Fire..

Gunshots??!! in Bermuda?? in MY island?? 1 man lost his life and more are fighting for theirs. is this for real? who knew that gang violence in paradise would escalate to such a level. Drive Bys in BERMUDA, it doesn't even sound right. Gunshots are not even synonymous with Bermuda!! This isn't right. Bloodshed and violence in such a tranquil place...damn
all i know is that, someones is hurting for their, son, brother, father, friend.. Much prayer, much much prayer.


"Streets On Fire" - Lupe Fiasco

Promised Land

My Friend Sakina took this picture, I love it, the side view of the Promised Land.
Today was, one of those days that i constantly have to Thank God for. For good times, good laughs, good words, for good fellowship, and a good message. yep most def a good message. "The Fight is Fixed"....so like the Egyptians, the trip to the Promised Land ain't the easiest one, but they still got there didn't they?? Yep, they got to the Promised Land. "Broken, Bent & a Bit torn" but, They definitely Made it to the Promised Land...

"Promised Land"- Kanye West & Malik Yusef

I Can Do Bad..

Tyler Perry Soooo keeps me laughin..

Artist...David Sides

David Sides is a dope musician. I have been a fan of his for a little over a year now. He is an amazing Pianist, and along with his own compositions he does unbelievable covers of today's most popular music. My favorite that he's ever done is the Kanye West Graduation album medley...ILL




Keep up with him...on His YouTube,and Myspace

One By One

Every now and then, u go through stuff...things that force you to feel like you're out for the count..am i right? well in these situations sometimes it feels best to just give up, i mean after the knock out punch you're pretty much spent anyways, so yeah, why not throw in the towel?? welll....the thing is, you we're made for situations as these, designed...crafted, meticulously shaped, to handle these things. So yeah, i've been down for the count for a min...but i just had to remember that, i was MADE for this thing called life. and bit by bit, step by step, i'll just inch myself back into the ring (dunno why i'm sticking to the boxing metaphor, but hey its working right? lol) OH yeah, and I wrote this poem like 2yrs ago that i found that states JUST that soo yeah, enjoy.

Birthed for greatness
for depth of creativity
Born to spawn art
at heights of my intensity
MADE to understand
MADE to prevail
In an understated calmness
my strenghth is veiled.
Adversity, handled.
so was tragedy and pain
the Unknowns NEVER harmed me
because for those moments
was I MADE

P.to the S. I havent named a post after a song in a while so i haaaaaad to bring that back into existence..mainly because I love thinking up song names for posts. lol anyways, this one is after Hall & Oats's song 'one by one'.....it kinda equates wif the whole theme of the post, im not sure how but...u know step by step, bit by bit, one by one...the link is there somewhere! haha

yeah so anyways. KNOCK OFF TIME!!

see ya's

Everything..

I cry everytime i see this..last summer, we did this skit...Powerful to say the least...i LOVE this, God always delivers us from our 'distractions' whatever they may be.

"Everything" - Tye Tribbett

Typing was just easier..

I hate feeling like im not myself. and latley thats just how im been feeling. to the point that feeling like this has become 'normal' i dunno...i guess im just battling alot of things spiritually right now. and i find my character getting tainted by things like jealousy and selfishness...which is totally out of my character, I am not selfish by any means, but lately my mind has been battling with my personality...and the outcome is this rant..and even though im so surrounded...i feel alone, and thats the sad part, and i guess i coulda just wrote this in my journal cuz its kinda jus a personal 'feeling sorry for myself' spiel...buuut typing was easier i guess.. thinking can be hazardous..food for thought..because i have been thinking and thinking for the past week, and nothing good has come out of it, and my pondering has only made me feel worse of a person...i dunno...i'm tired of a conflicted spirit, i mean, ok we're born in sin right? shaped in iniquity BUT we are birthed for and ONLY to serve God so from the jump we are a conflicted creation, and we have to battle our flesh and spirit in this evil world throughout our lives...right now i feel so out of my own skin its scary. I'm not an angry person, a selfish person, a jealous person, a mean person BUT thats what im facing right now. and being alone and lonely are so far from each other because i have found myself lonely lately, and not alone..not in the least. and i guess to some degree i've always been one to 'hold' certain things in, but i dunno, now i guess i jus feel misunderstood, so voiceing anything would just seem pointless. i guess its jus one of those things...

Psalm 61:2
From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

Mr. Roth

Can i just say that I am enjoying the HECK outta asher roth's new album!

Rock the Bells 09'

I SOOOOO Wanna go to this Mannnn, the lineup is ILL..! And especially since i Missed SXSW this year and it was like soo amazing its sickening! sighhh... i'm still not over missing SXSW...oh wells, theres always next year....but in the meantime, rock the bells is looking mighty nice.

So Sooo bittersweet.

Ok, So the makers of Guitar Hero have now reached a new high in video gaming....enter DJ Hero..ok so first of all i SOOOO came up with this idea last year, one night while me and my friend Taran were playing rock band we had a bright idea, how about a hip hop version of Guitar Hero/Rock band with a DJ console. WE HAD THE IDEA LAST YEAR!!! WE sooooo should have copyrighted the idea! sighhhhhhhh so now i'm gonna buy the video game that I envisioned and could have been rolling in a mint because of by now..SMH..

--Bittersweet - Kanye West & John Mayer

The Athelete

My friend Flora Duffy is an athlete...shes a Great athlete, and at last year she qualified and competed at the Olympics in Beijing. I went to HIGH school with Flora and I'm just sooo amazed that at 20yrs old she was already fulfilling a lifelong dream..that's like me being nominated for a Grammy right now...ILL...so yeah anyways, i was soo psyched that she was in Beijing and although she didn't win, I took so much just from her being able to travel to Beijing to compete in the OLYMPICS and represent BERMUDA!!! that, jus really made me want to work harder, strive harder, do more so that I can too, be fulfilling lifelong dreams, so stay tuned, many great things should be coming out of me soon!
And of course since I try to find the art in everything, i have to see what she does as an art...athletic art i guess. lol. she's a triathlete, so like an artist she practices her art, training all the time so that she can one day be the best, and then one day she has her art put on display for the the world to see...she competes, against the best athletic artists in the world. And has the talent, and strength to roll with the best of em!

Sadly i think i was working the day of the opening ceremony in Beijing so i did not see the opening ceremony (i knoooo soo wack) so i watched what little of it is on youtube, and of course i was in LOVE with the thousand plus drummers!! SICKNESS!!!

so yeah, my buddy flora, the artist, the athlete, the Olympian...I'm looking for you, London 2012!

Artist...Tony Melendez

I once heard someone very wise once say that "if you are born a musician, you will find a way to be that musician"...Tony Melendez found a way to be a musician, born without arms but still born a musician, he surpassed the average struggles to be a 'good' musician, and became a GREAT one but unexpected proportions...this inspires me, because I'm a musician, and i question myself so much because i don't feel like I'm as good as a i want to be, and i think that I'll never become what i dream of...but then i see things like this, and it reminds me, that I was BORN a musician, so i WILL find a way to become the musician that i want to be...
I feed off of inspiration, its a beautiful thing.

New Music...Rihanna

Here's the new rihanna track, had it for a few days but my internet has been down. so anyways, 'supposibly' Lady Gaga, is featured on this track, buuuuut i think that its Katy Perry, might be wrong, but whatevs..

Silly Boy - Rihanna

Hey Mama...

"As is the mother, so is her daughter.."
Ezekiel 16:44




I sure do hope I turn out like you...that would be MORE than an honor..

Streetlights...

i'm writing 3 different poems right now. one 2 do @ my church, one 2 do @ sook's and one....for myself....who woulda thought my poetry would actually merit an other audience other than my bedroom mirror go figure right... Honestly I dont even think I'm that good, i mean my rhyme scheme, metaphors and structure has alot to be disired of, but i'm working on it...yeah, i'm working on it.. anyways, music is my first passion, but words are definately a close second...words have a way of being so beautiful, in such a simple and eloquent way...



...ILL....


--I named this post after kanye's song streetlights cuz, i guess that song inspires me alot, causes me to think....and thats where I am right now...in the midst of inspiration, in the midst of thought..

Dare to Dream

I wanted to put sumthing poetic....buuuut i dont think this s finished...still i guess its ok to post...its a working progress. i'll finish it soon.


The dream..

The dream was something that occupied
the impossible side of my mind
the section divided by things achieved
and things only deemed possible if i was someone else.

So hence, the dream, was a long shot,
an impossiblity in a world where,
that seems to be a common theme
But yet i still stored the dream,
in the smallest if not darkest decaying part of my sub concious.

And would run through endlessly,
the possiblity of, it becoming factual.
An actuality in my very disarmed reality.
but, then again dreams are only fallicy..

what happend to me?
The dream feuled the dreamer in me.
now i stand upright and cling to reality.
the world that was meant to be
changed ever so quickly

and now my slumbered nights,
lack its colorful entertainment
and everyone seems so blameless,
I guess,
its me who's the fault,

I forgot, to dream means to trust what no one else can see
like God or the wind blowing through the trees
and before they were so real i could see them
now I can only reach R.E.M if I put in their album..

No..I refuse to change,
I refuse to conform,
I refuse to Lose, the only thing that is only mine,
the thoughts constructed from my mind.,

Forget what the world says, or what statistics prove
I conjure the thought,
and my hands will conjure its move.
Forget the I want, I declare i WILL BE
I need to dream to fuel the dreamer in me..


--Post Titled after Dare to dream by John Legend

Hot Like Fire.

I Love watching ryan leslie videos of him in the studio, he is just so ILL. and I love Keri Hilson, shes baaaad man. criss 4 realsies.

Ryan, Fab & Keri Studio Session from Ryan Leslie on Vimeo.

--Ok I titled this post after Aaliyah's song because thats exactly what i think ryan leslie is as a producer...Hotttt like FYAHHH!!! lol

I'm His Woman.

2 of American Idol's best singers pairing up for a nice lil performance. I myself LOVE both of them, fantasia even more after she performed in Bermuda 2 months ago, she seriously killed. it. Anyways, enjoy the vid



--This post title is obvious...its the name of the song, no creativity here. ha ha

Gonna Be a Lovely Day...

Ok. soooo much about today in my head that I want to put down on paper...well...screen. ha ha. anyways, Today...sigh, today was absolutely beautiful.

Ok so 1st I went to Sook's church..and wen i say the msg was for me I MEAN it!. it was about having faith, and obeying God no matter how the stakes look, no matter how the dire the situation looks, or how it may turn out. Take a Leap of faith, and listen to what God tells you to do, no matter how absurd it may sound... Y'kno sometimes, we look sooo much at the green grass on the other side of the fence that we don't see how green our own lawn is...kno wat i'm saying. Strive for what you want, but be content with wat God gives you..ok i kno i sound all over the place, but, i'm got alot of thoughts swimming around in this head of mine.
2nd my baby niece was born today, weighing in @ 7lbs 5 ounces, she came into the world @ 12:15 am May 2nd....another beautiful addition to my family. (well techinicallly since she was born @ midnite she should have been first on the post...oh well u get the picture)
3rd I went to the Aeolians concert and MANNNNNN they blew me away!! talk about ANOINTED!! the cncert was so beautiful, i was in actual tears by the end of the show, that last song touched my heart...mann...it was a beautiful day...and today just made me think a whole lot, about decisions that i have to make, things that i should be grateful of, and lastly reminded me of the absolute beauty that God placed in this world for me to appreciate..

--Post Titled after Kirk Franklin's song

My Favorite Things

OK So My favorite song EVER is 'I want you back' by the Jackson five. The instruments, Michael's young voice and that Motown flavor just blends perfectly together to warm my heart every time i hear it. This song seriously PULLS at my heart strings everytime. I could be having the worst day, sad as ever, all i need to hear is that opening bass line and I'm Cured! And As much as I LOVE the Jackson Five's version, I always love to find covers of it 2. I found this KT Tunstall cover of it on You Tube its cool, i like it, the whole acoustic vibe is nice. I remember when I went to Jay-Z's and Mary J. Blige's heart of the city concert in New York last year, i almost fainted when Jay's band started to play I want you back as a prelude to Izzo, which samples the song. Mannnn I was flippin out! LOVED it! I'm waiting for Priscilla Renea to cover this song then I will be in my Glory! Anywaysss just thought I'd post something that i love soo much, found this lil Jackson five vid on youtube....sigh loving it.



--Oh and this post is titled after Julie Andrew's song...pretty self explanatory...I'm kinda liking titling my posts after song names..lets see if I can keep that up. ha ha